Tag: matthew finnegan

Intel press party turns up the Heat

TechEye got trashed at Intel’s press party last night – in both senses.  On our team we co-opted Andrew Charlesworth and Tony Smith, but even that didn’t help too much.

The team: Mad Mike Magee, Matthew Finnegan, Tony Dennis, Andrew Charlesworth, Tamlin Magee, Tony Smith. We perhaps should have put the name of our team, OchAye, on the answer papers.

The challenge. Beating the other, many teams that hadn’t already had several pints in the now famous Porcupine, before Intel UK dispensed its largesse.  Despite having headed Intel notepaper with forged signatures telling the Heat team they were disqualified, despite having headed Intel notepaper with forged signatures telling the Future Publishing team they were really Past Publishing. Despite everything, we got trashed, and didn’t get to win Ultrabooks or anything else for that matter. The only thing we got to win was an ill-deserved reputation for mischief.

The forging went down well. We were dissuaded from stealing the Ultrabook in the corner. There was a whole series of questions related to Ultrabooks. We guess our answers to the effect about the same thinness as Apple notebooks but using not quite as expensive materials as Apple notebooks didn’t quite hit the hotspit (sic).

Heat magazine did quite well.  Heat – sorry thermal dissipation – is probably a core magazine for Intel PR.

We’d give you the gory results in full, but unfortunately at press time, Intel was unavailable for comment. Probably as hungover as we are. Doesn’t AMD have parties any more?

*EyeSee Intel kindly gave the roomful of hacks Christmas crackers. So we can now reveal some of Intel’s choice seasonal cracker jokes:

Why did the tightrope walker visit his bank?

To check his balance.

How do you save meatballs from drowning?

Put them in gravy boats.

Why did the teacher call both her sons Ed?

Because she thought two Eds would be better than one.

Why is it not safe to sleep on trains?

Because they run over sleepers.

A bottle of lemonade fell on a barman’s head. Why wasn’t he hurt?

It was a soft drink.

How do frogs send messages to each other?

They use morse toad.

What ring is square?

A boxing ring.

Intel’s Sandy Bridge catches everyone on the left foot

We managed to carry a review of Intel’s Sandy Bridge on TechEye earlier this week – against all the odds we, er, threw one up on the day the embargo was sort of lifted.

Reporter Matthew Finnegan managed to put together a roundup of what reviewers of Intel’s Sandra Breeches had to say on Bank Holiday Monday, while our very own Dirk Skuan put together some benchmarks for the board he had.

Let me tell you just how difficult this was. The United Kingdom is notorious for blending Christmas into the New Year, while the United States manages to make the Yule celebrations as minimalistic as possible. We guess that’s something to do with not eating too many turkeys in consecutive months.

From Christmas Eve to New Year’s Eve, some salaried staff – in India they’re called people in service – had a heck of a holiday. Christmas Eve was on a Friday, so people sloped off at midday, knowing that because Christmas Day was on a Saturday and Boxing Day the Sunday, that meant they could have Monday and Tuesday off.  Did many people go back to work on Wednesday in Blighty? No way. New Year’s Eve was on the Friday so people that could took a couple of days off, knowing that because New Year’s Day was a Bank Holiday, they’d have Monday off too. Oh, and in Scotland New Year’s Day was always a Bank Holiday, so that meant when England decided to declare it a Bank Holiday, Scotland got two. Bugger to find a plumber over the holiday period,  though but.

Sorry for the long preamble. It just meant that getting together a full Sandy Bridge rig together over this period was practically bloody impossible.  Dirk Skuan and Matthew Finnegan to the rescue.

I decided to email Paul Otellini, CEO of the Intel Corporation, because the embargo dates shifted like, er, shifting sands.

Do you know, to his credit, he emailed me back. Otellini said: “I am sorry for the inconvenience. The PR team made a recommendation to go early to get out ahead of some other announcements that were being pre-loaded into the CES flow.”

Do you think that Steve Jobs of Apple would have replied to an email from a scum hack like me?

Anyway, the official Sandy Bridge announcement is I think tomorrow, in Lost Wages. We will be there to cover it. Although now there is precious little to cover as the reviewers have kind of covered it all. Our Sandy Breeches review is here. Is Intel after the double bubble? Where’s George Alfs when you need him?!?

We will take our time now over the full in-depth review. Er, has anyone got AMD Fusion samples yet? And if not, why exactly not?!?