Microsoft preparing mysterious announcement

The Imperium upon which the sun appears to be setting more often is set to make a huge announcement on March 15.

If it were Apple there would be all sorts of fevered expectation which would result in a hysterical press rushing to the press conference to see what polished turd Steve Jobs was offering this week.

When Microsoft issues a similar cryptic notice, no one notices. To be fair we only spotted it because of the date which is the Ides of March.

The Ides of March are not a good time for any Imperium. After all, it was on that date that Julius Caesar was stabbed under the Statue of Pompey the Great.

But there have been dark murmurings in the Imperium lately. The feeling is that the shy and retiring Caesar Steve Ballmer is no longer up to the task. Apparently the concern is that he has dropped the ball so much lately that he appears to be playing basketball while the rest of the world is playing rugby.

Ballmer has been insisting that people around him are FAT as clearly some of them have “lean and hungry looks”. Soothsayers, or analysts as they are called these days, are warning that Microsoft needs to make some sweeping reforms and an Ides of March announcement of Steve’s exit would be incredibly appropriate.

Unfortunately a coup against Ballmer is about all pundits can come up with as for the reason to the mystery press conference. After all they are fairly fashionable at the moment.

There can’t be any important news about Windows 8, nor its new interface, updates for Windows Phone 7 are all old news, we know the Microsoft Tablet is not out until 2012, there is no new version of Office is due, and the Xbox 360 is still doing well.

It could be a launch of Internet Explorer 9″ as the browser already having reached RC status a little while ago but that is incredibily dull and would not rank as a “major announcement”.

So we are plugging for a transition of power from Steve to his heir apparent with March 15 his named date to show his secret displeasure.