Trolly dollies fear wi-fi

Air hostesses, er flight safety attendants have a paranoid fear of Wi-Fi.

It is not that it will melt their brains or make them infertile, apparently they are scared that if you turn on your wi-fi you could be secretly detonating a bomb.

While we know that on long dull flights people are prone to fantasy, this particular one might result in wi-fi being banned on flights.

Dinkar Mokadam, an occupational safety expert with the Association of Flight Attendants claims that the Yemeni bomb plot demonstrates one way wi-fi could facilitate terrorists.

Wi-fi and internet-enabled calls could enable a terrorist to manoeuvre around the US ban on the use of mobile phones on airplanes and actually trigger a bomb, it’s argued.

You can tell he has thought about this a lot. He told the AJC stewardess that this sort of a detonation didn’t require a voice. All you need is communication to a mobile phone and you can text to a device and have it go off. “You don’t have to even talk to it!” he quaked.

However we thought the ban on mobile phones was nothing to do with bomb threats. It was all about the fact it was supposed to interfere with airplane equipment. Since this policy is being reviewed as planets start carrying their own mobile base stations.

Logic of course is already out to lunch and is missing presumed fed when it comes to airport security. But getting punters to turn off their wi-fi because cabin attendants see a potential plot is pretty strange. We would have thought a plane was more likely to be bought down by a rocket launcher or a high powered rifle than wi-fi.

But yes, apparently it is being taken seriously. The Department of Homeland Security is considering banning wi-fi use completely or during high security-alert periods in the unlikely event that someone might develop a wi-fi bomb, get it past the already stupid security checks and use wi-fi to set it off.

Of course if a suicide bomber was going to do that, then why bother with the wi-fi at all? It is just one additional part of the attack to go wrong. It would be better to use a low tech manual switch.