Shaw of the SAS takes on cyber war

We knew there was trouble when the government appointed Major General Jonathan Shaw to defend the Cyber front.

Algy, Smyth and Hebblethwaite shuddered when ‘Taffy’ Hughes that lovable cockney rogue, bought the news to our fox hole. We had been up all night cleaning out the foxes who seemed to have pavo virus and we didn’t want any more bad news.

“Bad news chaps,” said Taffy. “They have decided our cyber war needs a real soldier in charge and they have assigned Major General Shaw to our unit.

“Not Jonathan “pass me that grenade and ask questions later” Shaw, the hero of the Falklands War?” asked Hebblethwaite.

“That’s him,” said Taffy. “SAS man, first in first out, death before dinner that sort of thing.”

Smyth was not happy. “I expect it is all this Wikileaks nonsense. Last week we had that whinging Sir Peter Ricketts, the National Security Advisor, telling us to stop Wikileaks hackers by taking precautions. It took me days to get a condom over the server, ironically it burst twice.”

Taffy told us that Shaw would lead a unit combating internet assaults on vital strategic installations, including nuclear facilities and communications networks. He said we would be training with new tools which will give Anonymous what for. Which left us wondering for says what state of the art software and hardware kit we would get to taken on Denial of Service attacks.

When the tools arrived, we had to admit they were impressive, and we spent several days consulting manuals to make sure that they were deployed effectively before our first raid on Anonymous.

It was tricky for me, I have fought my way around an SAP manual, but nothing prepared me for this.

“What do you think it means Algy “Pull pin and count to seven? Is that seven using hexadecimal, or do you think it means greater than or equal to seven?”