Norton fails at getting down with the kids, holds malware rap contest

Symantec’s Norton division is getting down with Snoop Dogg (38) to fight cybercrime through the medium of rap. “Hack is Wack,” they say, “Who’s on Crack?” says we.

Getting down? Perhaps sinking fast would be more apt. When they say rap, read crap. The winner will be up there with such memorable failures as “Don’t Copy That Floppy” by MC Double Def DP (Disk Protector) or Pat Benatar’s performance of her hit “Heartbreaker” rewritten as “Codebreaker” for RSA Security’s conference.

Follow the advice of the Grange Hill mob and “Just Say Nooooo”.

The old grandmuddyfunster and the MCs with the PCs want a bit of logic from the projick in a rap about the evils of malware. Two minutes of video, fo’ shizzle.

On the webhood there is a page to inspire the crew. Keystroke loggers, rogue security software and botnet are three inspired topics.

Then there are the statics on cybercrime just for those wannabe 50 (per) Cents. Sho’ to stir the muse in any red-blud rapper. Cap that worm, that’s what we say, yo.

Just to inspire Souljaboy or Lil’ Kim cadets, Snoop does it doggy style on the website. Or so the PR team claims. We snooped but no sign of the Dogg there. In fact, the competition will be judged by his management team. And the winner will get to meet, yes, the management team.

So where is the Dogg in all this? Maybe Norton wouldn’t let him up on the sofa. But you can always Tweet him on #SnoopNorton. Of course it’s him. He Tweets more than he raps these days. Well, at least the winner does get two tickets to a Snoop Dogg concert and eBay is just a keystroke or two away.

They also get a Toshiba laptop. That should go down well in the ghetto. “Hey, pig. Ahwunnitinacomp. Honest I did. Yo heat is a’ways up ma ass.”

Now the good news, unless you’re reading this in the US. The rules state that you must be a legal resident in the US & DC. Nothing about “and of sound mind”. Go figure.

Still, if you are disappointed, you can always write a rap for fun. Now what rhymes with malware?