North Korea sends cyberwarriors to foreign colleges

North Korea’s Dear Leader is sending his youth to anti-socialist reactionary bourgeois lackey colleges to learn how to hack.

Kim Jong-il hopes that by letting his kids out of the country to learn hacking he can take on the extra-large gangsters of the West and annihilate them with a fresh revolutionary upswing.

The problem for Dear Leader is that if he lets kids go to the bellicose philistine South Korea or even further afield to the United States a nation of politically illiterate gangsters, they may never come back.

According to a defector Kim Heung-kwang, the prodigies are provided with the best environment, and if they graduate with top grades, their parents in the provinces are given the opportunity to live in Pyongyang.

The big idea is that they might taste of the forbidden Western fruits, but they are likely to come back where they will be important. Their family will not be packed off to a forced labour camp because they disobeyed, but will be living in the lap of luxury.

Speaking to a meeting of the North Korea Intellectuals Solidarity, Kim said that North Korea was trying to boost its cyberwar capability by its best sending programmers abroad for training in the latest hacking techniques.

There are also moves locally to create troops for glorious revolutionary people’s cyber army. There is also a North Korean college at which up to 120 students a year are trained to conduct cyberwarfare operations. These are less trustworthy than the people which are sent overseas.