Nativity thieves no match for Tech Jesus

There is bad news for any potential Grinches in New Jersey this year, because after a spate of nativity scene thefts Jesus is fighting back – with the aid of GPS.

“We were concerned because of the thefts of baby Jesus’ in the area, a number of churches have had vandalism done,” said Alan Czyewski of St Ambrose church. “We put a lot of time and effort into this manger, and it would be a shame if someone were to destroy it.”

While most think that divine omnipotence would usually do the trick for most tracking purposes, security firm Brick House Security seems to believe that supplying churches, like St Ambrose, with GPS systems to track their stolen nativity centre pieces is a more reliable method.

“We had a church contact us and say they lost their Baby Jesus, it was stolen from them the year before, and the children were very upset when they showed up at Sunday school and lo and behold no Baby Jesus in the manger, so they called us up and wanted a GPS tracker,” said Todd Morris, BrickHouse Security, adding that, just like the wrath of the Almighty, “there is no hiding from our GPS trackers.”

You could say that Bethlehem was not quite a technological hub a couple of thousand years ago, so we can just presume that a young Jesus would be thrilled to have a piece of satellite tracking kit on him.

“I think Jesus had a sense of humor. And I think if he was technically up to date he would be very happy having a GPS module on himself and as a matter of fact it would be easier for his disciples to follow him,” Czyewski added.

“We have GPS devices that are capable, through assisted GPS technology, of locating something inside of a safe, inside of an underground garage,” he said.

BrickHouse Security from New York is offering the program free to churches during the Christmas season.

And strangely this is not the only example of some rather un-festive behaviour – The Baby Jesus GPS program is hoping to solve nativity thefts all over the country, and is now being used in over 60 churches in 25 states around the US.