Real light sabre can set skin on fire

It’s just about time, if you ask us, for an armed Jedi rebellion in the UK. Being kicked out of Tesco  and being attacked in your back garden by a piss-taking, drunk Darth Vader in a bin bag is repression enough.

Thankfully a company has come out with a real-life, working lightsabre. Next time a man in a bin bag invades your garden you can slice his arm right off – to avenge the end of Empire Strikes Back and also for trampling your magnolias – with the Spyder III Pro Arctic Laser

It emits a 445nm blue, high powered 1W beam which shows up 4000 percent brighter than Sonar’s 405nm beam, says Wicked Lasers on its product page here. The site brags that this laser “possesses the most burning capabilities of any portable laser in existence – that’s why it’s also the most dangerous laser ever created”.

It can apparently “set fire quickly to skin and other body parts” and will “blind permanently and instantly”. Awesome! It should spice-up lacklustre games of Laserquest in Hemel Hempstead, any road. 

An unscrupulous madman has already set up a fatal MMA fighting spin-off with questionable legality in a faraway country where men hit each other in the face and body with electrified knuckledusters.

Just how long can it be until we see full on Sith/Jedi gladiator matches? With blinding, and burning.