There has been a whole lot of bad-mouthing of global warming recently. I mean, it really has been getting a lot of negative press hasn’t it?
Well, just as David Cameron has gone through a rapid public transformation of late, from smug-faced harbinger of doom to smug-faced L’Oreal model, it appears climate change is finally getting its diesel powered PR machine running.
Because, contrary to frankly more depressing predictions of the planet’s future, scientist, and general ‘glass is half full’ type of guy, Professor Josep Penuelas, believes that global warming is set to make the world smell nicer.
This is due to, in scientific parlance, an increase in biogenic volatile organic compounds (BVOCs), which are emitted into the atmosphere by plants such as flowers, which are in turn prompted by an increase in carbon dioxide levels.
In Layman’s terms this will have an effect similar to a massive Glade Plug-In launched into orbit around the planet.
Despite the staggering amount of evidence that can be found to the contrary while walking around Kentish Town at any time of day or night, Professor Penuelas maintains that the global Febreeze-ing has already begun.
“The increase is exponential,” claims Penuelas, of the Global Ecology Unit at the Autonomous University of Barcelona.
“It may have already increased 10% in the past 30 years and may increase 30-40% with the three degrees warming projected for the next decade.”
So as the planet wilts in the heat of its self-created apocalypse it will come as great comfort to hear that the last scent humans will inhale will be the faint whiff of potpourri.