Genetic test can pinpoint address to within five miles

Here at TechEye, we like to protect our unique genetic heritage, which is why we take much the same line on marriage and procreation as the Egyptian pharaoahs.

After all, if you lot out there ever got access to our superhuman gene pool, you might mount some sort of challenge. It’s worth putting up with the tail and the stutter to hang on to the mind control and eye-watering physical beauty.

We were, though, under the impression that you guys tended to be a little more casual with your DNA – those in Norfolk excepted, obviously – which is why we were surprised by the results of a new genetic analysis from the University of Edinburgh.

A team there has found that a simple DNA test can pinpoint a person’s geographical roots to within a few miles.

They looked at the genes of volunteers from Scottish islands, Italy’s Alpine valleys and villages in Croatia, focusing on those whose grandparents had lived in the same village.

They found that the different villages had developed their own genetic fingerprint, meaning the team could distinguish between people living in villages just five miles apart.

The scientists predicted the correct village of origin for 100 percent of the Italian sample, 96 percent of the Scots and 89 percent of the Croatian sample (who presumably put it about just that little bit more).

“This exciting finding begs the question of whether we will be able to identify the rural origins of urban people with ancestry from many places across a country,” says research fellow Dr Jim Wilson.

“These results hold out the possibility that with more data, using genome sequencing for instance, we might be able to do this.”

It’s probably time to come clean, then, about TechEye‘s controlled breeding programme. We’ve had some success so far – bet you’ve noticed you’re taller than your grandparents, for instance – but we’ll be sorry to give up on the rest. You’d all have looked so sweet with fluffy pink ears.