Fundamentalists fear anti-Christ boobs

US fundamentalists are having a bit of a crisis after researchers announced that they will be putting radio frequency chips in breast implants.

Researchers think that equipping pumped boobs with with radio frequency chips to help diagnose problems, such as slipping silicon and black eyes when skipping.

Establishment Labs announced the release of a new silicone breast implant that contains an RFID microchip. It will give doctors information about the product’s make and model years after women have them implanted.

However, the RFID chip is the enemy of fundamentalist Christian groups in the US who feel that they are the mark of the beast and will be used by the anti-Christ to control people. Tin-foil hat wearers in the US think that implanted RFID chips will be used by the evil government to track the locations of their legally bought weapons caches.

So far, no one had predicted that fake boobies would be a good location to place an RFID chip. The bible only talks about the mark of the beast being placed on the hands and forehead. If RFID chips were really the mark of the beast you would think Revelations might mention to beware the “Devil’s Dumplings” or the fact that women would be required to have two marks of the beast because they were Whores of Babylon, or some similar misogynistic declaration.

Tinfoil hat wearers would have to watch carefully that they did not approach any woman with implants, which is probably unlikely to happen anyway.

Researchers however are concerned that silicone breast implants have been at the centre of several health scares over the years.

Most recently a French company was found to be using an unapproved filler, putting hundreds of thousands of women at risk.

According to the New York Daily News,  Establishment Labs is set to market a new silicone breast implant equipped with a radio frequency identification (RFID) microchip that gives doctors and patients easier access to information about the implants, including their serial number, manufacturer name and other data.