Austrians make pigs ears out of avalanche

Austrian animal rights activists have been squealing over a proposed experiment to bury 29 pigs alive under a manmade avalanche, supposedly in the interests of science.


The Charlotte’s web of controversy kicked off when boffins from the medical faculty of Innsbruck University in Tyrol’s Oetz valley and an emergency medical centre across the hill in Bolzano, Italy, had proposed to sedate the sacrificial snouts.


That’s  before dynamiting layers of snow over them to study the effects air pockets could have on saving human lives in case of real avalanches.


But activists snorted at the idea that burying pigs in snow blankets would be able to offer any kind of insight into how humans survived avalanches, despite protests by the head honchos in charge of the experiment that the pig protectors were being “naïve.”


Now, now, no need to get in a strop [shurely, Slop? – Ed].


Apparently there is as good as a one in five chance of finding yourself in an avalanche airpocket, if you’re unlucky enough to be the one person in millions who managed to get stuck in one in the first place.


According to the great wisdom of Wikipedia, 92 per cent of people hit by an avalanche can supposedly be rescued if help comes within 15 minutes. This number drops to 30 per cent after 35 minutes and near zero after two hours, mainly as a consequence of hyperthermia.


Perhaps the Austrian scientists’ rationale was that by scattering frozen ham throughout the mountain, any human avalanche survivor might find something tasty to eat whilst sitting in their airpocket as they awaited rescue.


Either way, now that the whole experiment has been called off, it looks like the poor beasts have had their bacon saved.


All’s fine that ends Schwein, eh?