Ahmadinejad wants to be first in space

Comedy president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has announced that he is “ready to be the first man in space”.

Ahmadinejad, who apparently has not heard of Yuri Gagarin, would not be the first world leader to be an Astronaut. According to the North Korean press, Kim Jong-il has also done a turn or two in space, landed on the moon, and kicked over the Americian flag. Kim would have flown further but had to return to save his people from a giant imperialist badger which was threatening the country.

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, despite being a world pariah and not having much cash, Ahmadinejad has insisted that Iran run an ambitious program which aims to send a human into orbit by 2020.

“Our youth are determined to send a man into space within the next four, five years, and I’m sure that will happen,” he said during a ceremony in Tehran where two new Iranian-made satellites were unveiled, according to the ISNA news agency.

He added that he is ready to be the first Iranian to be sacrificed by the scientists of his country and go into space, even though he knows there are a lot of candidates. Recently, a monkey volunteered for the sacrifice, but made it back to earth unscathed.

Judging by Ahmadinejad’s popularity both at home and in the rest of the world, we are sure a few world leaders will chip in to send him on an exploration of the surface of the sun using a revolutionary new tin foil space suit.

He said he was willing to “auction himself and donate” the money to the Iran’s space program. Although we doubt he would find many takers, even for parts.

The presidency website showed pictures of Ahmadinejad at the ceremony with what was purportedly Pishgam (pioneer), the monkey claimed to have been sent into orbit by Tehran last week.

Iran’s space program is believed to be a cover for the development of ballistic missiles capable of carrying nuclear warheads, despite denials from Tehran.

The UN Security Council has imposed an almost total embargo on the export of nuclear and space technology to Iran since 2007.