1. And it came to pass that EHCH-PEH did despair of the operating system of Microsoft and did mock the powers of the Penguin God of the Weirdie Beardies and did look around for a new OS god to worship. 2. And amongst the legions of the Palm they did find the WebOS which they thought would do. Had it not the name “web” in it, and everyone knoweth that the web was the next best thing. 3. But there were those amongst EHCH-PEH who were perplexed with the new goddess. We should have bought something with the word Mobile in it they sayth. 4. Then there were those who believed that they should worship the god of the Weirdie Beardies and evoke the true and invisible god of vapour, Meego. 5. Soon after he lead the children of EHCH-PEH to their new WebOS god, King Mark Hurd was sacrificed by his people for dining with a Whore of Babylon on expenses. 6. And Leo Apothika, that man of action, did see WebOS while it was bathing and became very moist. Is this Goddess not what the children of EHCH-PEH have been seeking? Truly she can be omnipotent and we can stick it in everything. For cannot WebOS runneth even our printers, even unto the ones with the expensive ink. 7. He ordered that WebOS be bought into the heart of the Temple of EHCH-PEH and the priests brought the Chest of the Covenant of WebOS to its place in the Inner Sanctuary, the Holy of Holies, under the wings of the cherubim. 8. And he ordered great roadmaps to be drawn up and temples, and interfaces to the new Goddess were drawn forth even under the hundredth powerpoint. 9. And then did Apothika pray unto WebOS in the heart of the temple and asketh that she give her children Tablets, like unto the ones that the Children of Jobs had. 10. And behold a laptop did burst into fire and from the flames WebOS did spake and say. “Here are the plans for a new tablet which will make thee the King of the Mobile World”. 11. But when the EHCH-PEH engineers did see the plans they did tear their industry tee-shirts and cover their heads with cigarette ashes. 12. The did spake and say, “these plans went about to cause our hearts to despaire of all the labour which I tooke under the Sunne.” 13. And Apothika did spake unto his developers, hath thou no faith in the nubile WebOS? For hath not she written that we are to place our faces between her tablets and goeth blubble blubble? 14. And the EHCH-PEH engineers did spake and say that Apothika was new to hardware and kneweth not what the feck he was talking about. Yet, they tried to build the tablets, yeah even unto the roadmap he requested. 15. And the tablet was named the TouchPad and indeed it was rubbished, for it was like an iPad without the marketing and an Android tablet without the software development. And the reviewers looked for Applications to run on the software and found them not. 16. And Apothika was wrath and he told the engineers that they had better come up with something better next time, or else it would be smiting time. 17. He ordered that the person who first discovered WebOS, Stephen DeWitt, should be taken from his temple and promoted away from the engineers, so that he infected them not with his cheerful banter. 18. But there were some who considered that WebOS was a false goddess.