T-Mobile loses plot and sprays QR code on cow's arse

Technology has permeated throughout almost every area of modern society in the past few years, with microchips finding their way into just about all aspects of life.  

Now, it seems even the farmyard is not safe from the unstoppable rise of technology, as country bumpkins swap their pitchforks and cider jugs for iPads and a BlackBerry. Not the kind you pick, the kind you throw at the wall when it stops working.

We can thank T-Mobile for playing its part. The company has combined the mobile revolution with the combine harvester, reinventing age-old farming practices.  And the result, we have to say, is certainly interesting.

T-Mobile has been letting a group of 12 farmers into brainstorming sessions with its own suit-wearing creative types. The result is some suitably odd applications.

Our favourite hybrid is simple but breathtakingly effective – the surrealist vision of a cow with a QR code sprayed onto its massive bovine arse. 

T-Mobile is adamant that there’s a real purpose to the tech-inspired Dada rump art. It’s not just the result of some particularly strong scrumpy. Reports of other ideas are unconfirmed, but we have been tipped off about Hen bluetooth and a curious project that sellotapes a Wiimote to a goat’s face.

Apparently, scanning a QR code located on the cattle’s rear will quickly and inexpensively identify them as individuals, which they are, you cow racist. M&C Saatchi promises it cuts out expensive scanning equipment usually needed for chip implant systems. We have to say though, Banksy it is not.

Once the farmer snaps the cow’s posterior with a smartphone, they are directed to a website showing all the cow’s vital statistics – a bit like a bovine OKCupid.  You can see pictures of the lovely Shirley from Hampshire here.

Furthermore, in a nightmarish Farmville comes to life, the  team has also created a 3G controlled, moving scarecrow with night vision. It will likely do just as good a job scaring humans.

Live feeds from the night vision goggles implanted in the scarecrow’s eyes, essentially a 3G- controlled apocalyptic Wurzel Gummage, can then look out for what T-Mobile terms “nuisance birds” or livestock rustlers.

Another example of T-Mobile’s ludicrous foray into agriculture applications is the brilliantly monikered ‘flying sheepdog drone app’. 

It gives farmers the opportunity to “supplement” their sheepdogs with flying drones that can be controlled via smartphones, truly an app that will truly drag sheep-herding programme One Man And His Dog into the twenty first century.