Samsung shorne of his locks by the Philistines of Ap-Pel


1. And a time came that the Mobile world was dominated by Ap-Pil and King Job’s Army of Philistines. And no one was able trade goods and services without the mark of iTunes upon their foreskins. 2. And there rose up from the far east a Mighty Warrior called Samsung who was dedicated to the LORD and was pledged unto him to never to cut its Mobile Services. 3. And for a time Samsung did work in the sweat shops of Ap-Pil making unto the world the cheap chips which were transformed by a Miracle of Job’s Marketing into the best chips that were ever created. 4. But the people of Ap-Pil trusted Samsung not and did mutter against it. Our miracle chips should be made by the tribe of Tee-Es-Mem-See who do sacrifice their own workers to their terrible god to make a fast buck. 5. And it came to pass afterward, that Samsung loved a Operating System in the valley of Google, whose name was Ann-Droid. 6. And the lords of the Ap-pel came up unto her, and said unto her, Entice him, and see wherein his great strength lieth, and by what means we may prevail against him, that we may bind him to afflict him: and we will give thee a licence to exist 7. And Ann-Droid said to Samsung , Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee. 8. And Samsung said unto her, If they cast me out from Ap-Pil then shall I be weak, and be as another man. 9. Then the lords of the Ap-Pil cancelled Samsung’s chip making contract and expected him to be weak. 10. Now there were men lying in wait, abiding with Ann-Droid in her chamber. And she said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samsung . And low Samsung did create a tablet even better than the Children of Ap-Pil causing the Philistines to flee. 11. And Ann-Droid said unto Samsung , Behold, thou hast mocked me, and told me lies: now tell me, I pray thee, wherewith thou mightest be bound. 12. And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death; that he told her all his heart, and said unto her, I am dedicated unto the Mobile Market and if this was taken from me I would be weak. The only way for this to be done is in the US patent court. Where it is said that even if you invented the product it is rarely yours. 13. And when Ann-Droid saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Ap-Pel, saying, Come up this once, for he hath showed me all his heart. Then the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and brought money in their hand. 14. And the people of Ap-Pel did go unto the Americas and stand before their strange God of Justice. Samsung has created a tablet which is Mighter than anything we hath created and we have naught to stand against him. 15. Therefore in the tradition of thy God of Justice we claim that we must have invented Samsung’s tablet before him. 16. And they called forth people blind people to say that they saw Samsung copying the tablet, and deaf people to say they heard of his plans. Lame Ap-Pil fanboys leapt to the defence of their King and did high-five each other in accordance to the ancient ritual of Ap-Pil istupidity. 17. And then the God of Justice did spake and ask “Is Samsung of the tribe of the Americans?” 18. And Ap-Pel did say with one voice, “Nay your honour”. And the American God of Justice did bang down the gravel of Justice spake and say “let him go forth and multiply then, for we liketh not Mexicans in Texas, and is it not written that all foreigners are Mexicans and falleth short of the Glory of Gawd. 19. Meanwhile Samsung awoke out of his sleep, and said, I will go out as at other times before, and shake myself. And he wist not that the mobile market had departed from him. 20. But the People of Ap-Pil took him, and put out his eyes, and bound him with writs of brass; and he did grind in the sweat shop of Tee-Es-Mem-See. And Samsung did wish that he had never heard of Ann-Droid.