Japanese reveal how crazy the IoT will be

braEarly product creators of the Internet of Things are starting to reveal how silly things will be under the latest computing trend.

Japanese lingerie maker Triumph International has created an internet bra which can give you verbal pep talks and also help you snap selfies.

Apparently the concept design is an opportunity for designers to let their imaginations roam free as they envision new ways to cup and support a woman’s breasts. Man boobs will remain unsupported.

Slipping your smartphone into the heart-shaped sheath attached to the skirt will record such health-related data as the number of steps you’ve taken during the day, distance travelled, calories burned, and also the number of hours you’ve slept.

The Wearable Womanliness-Boosting Bra is capable of responding to your voice with confidence-bolstering compliments to help you keep abreast of things. .

Mention to your boobs that you’ve got a big presentation at work that you’re nervous about, and the bra will speak, reminding you “If you give it your best, you’ll be OK! Go for it!” Ask “Do I look beautiful?” and it’ll answer “Very beautiful!” Go with the more general question “How do I seem today?” and the bra will tell you you’re “Totally radiant!”

According to Triumph’s press release, a string of lights along the straps and top edge of the bra can be activated by saying “Illuminate my bust, décolletage magical light on.” Quite how this will be useful we have no idea.

Because everything in the 21st century needs a narcissistic edge, the bra contains a selfie stick waiting in the loops on either side of the Wearable Womanliness-Boosting Bra. The skirt can even be detached and converted into a photography board reflector to give you the perfect lighting.

By pressing the “heartbeat switch” on the side of the bra, the garment will measure your heartbeat and flash its lights in unison with your cardiac rhythm.

All this just seems to us that the world has gone raging mad.