Ipods turn people into Zombies

Jobs’ Mob’s  iconic iPod has been blasted by Sydney coppers for turning Aussies into zombies (tsumbas) and shortening their life expectancy.

Coppers became concerned when they noticed a 25 percent spike in traffic accidents in New South Wales.

They have blamed the fact that the moment users put on an iPod they go into a zombie trance and walk, drive or cycle into trouble.

Recently there was the case of a 46-year-old Glebe woman reportedly wearing headphones when she was knocked down and killed by an ambulance.

Apparently she did not hear the ambulance siren when crossing the road.

She was one of at least six pedestrians hit by vehicles on state roads over the weekend. It strikes us as a terrible way to die, with the strains of Coldplay echoing in your slowly oxygen starved brain. Still, who knows, perhaps they sound better.

”’Death by iPod’ seems to be increasing in Australia while total road deaths are decreasing and there are calls for people who have their pods up too loud to be fined.

Of course it could just be the universe’s method of applying Darwin’s laws to Apple users and possibly is an attempt by Nature to remove them from the gene pool. Although we would have thought they were unlikely to breed.