Apple’s new iPhone is just an old one in drag

benedict-cumberbatchFruity cargo cult Apple’s continued faith in the stupidity of its customers showed yesterday when it released a practically identical phone to an old model and called it something else.

Apple announced a “new” four-inch iPhone SE today, and it killed off the iPhone 5S. This was because the iPhone SE was actually the iPhone 5S in a different box.

There is nothing new about the size, shape, look, hardware, or software of the iPhone SE. You can even buy it in the same horrible 16 gigabyte model as its predecessors. The display is the same and the software is the same.

Inside it uses the same camera and processor as the iPhone 6S so it is a moderate upgrade – but nothing a user is likely to notice.

Even the Tame Apple Press is a little miffed. On a day when normally they would be creaming themselves to praise what every gilded dog turd Apple had created as “super,” “cool,” “game changing” and “innovative.” Gizmodo was actually  “sarcastic”.

“ Calling this a new phone is like a putting a wig on a body pillow and naming it Samantha. Samantha is still a body pillow. Samantha still can’t love you back,” sulked the magazine.

So basically if yesterday, if you wanted to buy a 4-inch phone from Apple, you could buy the iPhone 5S. You will still be able to buy an iPhone 5S tomorrow it will just be called the iPhone SE.  Apple really has run out of ideas.