Apple's iPhone 4S a lemon

Fruity cargo cult Apple has come up with a novel way of burying its broken rubber-band-powered iPhone 4.

While many manufacturers would have replaced the broken phone with its antenna which dropped a phone call when you touched it, Apple had a better idea. You keep the broken phone running for a year and the replace it with the same phone only with the antenna fixed. Only Apple could get away with this slap in the face to its users.

Fan boys will tell you that the iPhone 4 was not a failure as it sold millions, but popularity does not always mean something is good. The bubonic plague was extremely popular in Europe but no one ever described it as successful. The iPhone 4’s commercial success was  a tribute to the stupidity of fanboys, heavy Apple marketing and a tame Apple press claiming that the phone was great.

But the new iPhone 4S is anything but good for anyone. It is an iPhone 4 with the antenna fixed and can shrug off its cheap rubber band fix.

Since when has making a product work as it says on the tin been considered an upgrade? If that was the case all Apple had to do was issue an empty box as the first iPhone and gradually add working parts on each development.

There is so little else on the iPhone 4S that you would think Apple’s much hyped innovation has gone out to lunch. It seems to have taken Apple16 months to jack an A5 processor under the bonnet of the iPhone 4 which is hardly bending the fabric of space and time with creativity. As one Twitter user, HAL9000, wrote “Please note I will be selling some ‘S’ stickers for $0.99 so iPhone 4 owners have a cheaper upgrade option.”

We do not think this will be universal.  If another company pulled a stunt like this, they would be toast.  But Apple fanboys are a tribute to the anti-Darwin movement in the US.  

They will hysterically queue to buy one, or mortage their house to get an early model on eBay.

Then when they get an identical phone to the one they just bought, they will shout very loudly that it is the best thing since sliced bread.  We think it will probably be a success, but the collective wisdom of humanity will be the main casualty.

In comparison to Android phones out there it is decidedly lacking. There is no swappable battery or memory card slot. The iPhones are not as good as being phones as other devices. Then there is the small matter that you get locked into Steve Jobs’ Walled Garden of Delights which is like being jailed for life in Disneyland in a Kafkaesque nightmare.

While owning an early iPhone might have marked you out as “cutting edge” in the smartphone world, the new one just says you have no buying sense. It is more expensive than other smartphones that do the same thing, better. Kids are starting to notice that their dad owns an iPhone which is the kiss of death for Apple’s traditional base.

Analysts are split about the phone.

Some say it is rubbish, but will still sell well. Others say that that Apple should have continued to push the boat out with its marketing hype and have called it the iPhone 5. Between these is an overwhelming feeling, not seen before or after the launch of an iPhone of disappointment.

The launch of the “new” phone has shown that Apple is out of ideas and cannot compete with the rise of Android.

It is for this reason that it is fighting its desperate court battle to keep more innovative and cheaper products off the shelves.