Apple stakes battery vampire

The fruity cargo cult Apple has released a fix for its brand new iPhone 4s which drained users of their battery and left them fairly useless husks.

Since the launch of the iPhone 4S, users have been moaning that the battery is about as short lived as optimism in the Greek and Italian economies.

Initially it was thought that it was an iPhone 4S feature, but it turned out that those who had upgraded their iPhone 4s to the new operating system, iOS5, also suffered.

Apple did everything it could in the situation including rushing out a patch and firing the incompetent people who allowed its software to be released in such a sorry state.

Actually, it denied there ever was a problem until there was enough press coverage about the complaints. Then it said it was doing something in the new update which was with its developers now.

The update also fixes some other problems which Apple has not been talking about lately including on security, such as a flaw in the OS that may allow hackers to build apps that secretly install programs to steal data.

Apple was told about this flaw recently and responded by kicking the developer who found it out of the walled garden of delights for creating an app which proved it.

The update has been being shunted to iPhone users since last night which should prevent the battery vampire from rising from its grave this morning.