Apple censors your SMS messages

Apple’s Steve Jobs is apparently so obsessed with people using his shiny toys to send sex messages that he has designed software to censor their SMSs.

Jobs, who is a key shareholder in Disney, who founder Walt was a right-wing control freak, has won a patent for technology which censors rude words from an SMS message. The big idea is to stop sexting, which is a mobile craze where couples try to turn each other using messaging.

According to the patent, Apple is targeting the software at a market it understands well – control freaks who like to know exactly what their children are doing 24/7 and want to stop them doing anything fun.

The patent says there is currently ‘no way to monitor and control text communications to make them user appropriate.

‘The parental control application evaluates whether or not the communication contains approved text based on, for example, objective ratings criteria or a user’s age or grade level, and, if unauthorised, prevents such text from being included in the text-based communication.

‘If the control contains unauthorised text, the control application may alert the user, the administrator or other designated individuals of the presence of such text.

‘The control application may require the user to replace the unauthorized text or may automatically delete the text or the entire communication.’

Previously, iPhone apps have made it impossible for users to text whilst driving and banned them from dialling certain numbers at certain times.

Jobs thinks that this sort of tool will prevent them using rude language after all censorship has always been good at stopping kids from swearing or thinking about sex.

The tame Apple press has been supportive of course. Of course the Daily Mail  said that it would have prevented celebrities like Tiger Woods from sending SMS messages about his love for rough sex.

Ashley Cole’s marriage to wife Cheryl collapsed when he sent hundreds of raunchy messages to a blonde secretary.

However, in our view, it would have just meant that these types would have bought an Android phone or even a £30 non-smart variety. At least that way you don’t have a 55 year old pescetarian telling you what language you can use.