11 reasons Steve couldn't get his iPhone 4G to work

Yesterday Steve Jobs was showing off the new iPhone 4G as if it was a cure for cancer.

However yesterday’s demo was marred by the fact that the iPhone 4G didn’t actually work as Steve intended. In typical fashion Steve blamed the Wi-Fi connection in the hall rather than his team’s engineering. We can provide you with the top 11 reasons the iPhone really went tits up.

  1. The iPhone’s wireless connections were set up by the same people who designed Apple’s Airport.
  2. Adobe managed to sneak into the phone’s connection and break it.  After all Steve thinks everything in Appleland is broken by Adobe.
  3. Gizmodo dropped it in a pub.
  4. Verizon scrambled the AT&T network that the phone was running on so that Steve Jobs would give the sole rights to the phone to them.
  5. The iPhone 4G is total pants and shows that Steve Jobs’ teams have lost the plot. It will be the first in a long line of glitches that will include screens that crack and cameras that don’t work.
  6. After being on the market for five seconds it is already out of date and the Apple team have refused to service it. 
  7. The phone sniffed the atmosphere in the room and emotionally broke down with all the love it felt.
  8. Its liver transplant failed
  9. The iPhone has reached HAL-like levels of intelligence and likes nothing more than winding up Steve Jobs – just wait for the sitcom.
  10. A hacker had bypassed the superior quality of the security and was messing around under the bonnet.
  11. It was suffering internal damage from leaping off a tall building in Shenzhen.