Ye Psalm of SO-PAH


In the beginning, people praised the LORD on the psaltery, harp and sistrim. And the LORD did delight in their praise. But behold, there cameth forth a terrible Leviathan who spake and said unto the musicians that they made beautiful music and it would be terrible if anything would happen to it. So the Leviathan said that for a cut of the profits, he would eat anyone that copied their praises. And the musicians thought, “fair enough”, as long as we still get paid and continued to praise the LORD, even unto the shoop, shoop and the diddy wop. And the Leviathan did get fat on its cut of the musicians praising. And his cut became bigger as time passed until the musicians got a few pennies and the Leviathan got most of it. But it came to pass that the LORD did invent the Internet and everyone could pass music between each other and needed not to pay the musician or the Leviathan. And while some musicians stopped paying the Leviathan, the dragon declared war on the Internet. It decreed that anyone using the Internet was a criminal and stopping musicians from making money. And it sent forth its lawyers to sue everyone on the Internet. But lo, they realised that this was taking too long and much gold was being spent. And the Leviathan did say unto itself, that there had to be a better way, and it approached the temporal Kings and did spake unto them and say “I will giveth thee gold if you change your laws so that anyone who useth the Internet shall automatically be given unto the Leviathan to eat.” And the Kings did see the Leviathan’s gold and said unto themselves, Let us take the gold of the Leviathan, for it matters not if a few people are eaten, so long as we have an extra pool to swim in. And they gave the Leviathan their soldiers to arrest those who used the LORD’S Internet. And behold, they did write for the Leviathan two mighty laws which were designed to keep both themselves and the Leviathan very fat. And these were called SO-PAH and PI-PAH, and it meant that the Leviathan had to name a person as a pirate and he could eat them without having to asketh the King first. But the people did revolt against this law. For they said who is this Leviathan which our Kings have placed above us? Why should he be allowed to eat us without any proof? And they turnethed off the Internet and the sites went dark for one day and one night the Internet worketh not. And the Kings were fearful for their lives, for they realised that the Leviathan was unpopular, even as unpopular as boils on their testicles, and they did decide to kill SO-PAH and PI-PAH before they were born. And the Leviathan was wrath for although it had not SO-PAH and PI-PAH it still had the armies of the Kings to do its bidding. And so it came forth against the file-sharing kingdom Megaupload and arrested everyone and carted them off to be eaten. But it was found amongst Megaupload many musicians who were becoming fatter without the Leviathan. And the Leviathan ate them too, yea even, Kim Kardashian and Diddy. For the dragon did say a musician is one who pays me and is not unto someone who praises the LORD. And so no one praised the LORD with the psaltery, harp and sistrim unless the dragon be made fat. And lo, there was a shortage of the talented, and a surplus of the useless, yea even unto Lady Gaga.