Obama rules out building death star

Just when you think that politics over the pond are getting a little serious, President Obama’s office has penned an official response to an online petition for the US to build a Death Star by 2016.

After all, a Death Star would create a lot of jobs and scare almost everyone in the universe.

The online petition received enough signatures to require the White House to consider it and to draft a response.

The response, drafted by Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, said that while the Administration shares the desire for job creation and strong national defense, a Death Star isn’t on the horizon.

The first reason was the cost. The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000 and it is not a good investment when you are trying to reduce the deficit.

The Obama administration does not support blowing up planets as a tool of foreign policy. Afghan farms are OK, but whole planets seem a bit wasteful.

It also does not make sense to spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man fighter.

“Even though the United States doesn’t have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we’ve got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we’re building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun,” the statement said.

Obama claims to knows his way around a lightsaber, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.