Signs that the world has completely forgiven Michael “It doesn’t matter if I am black or white” Jackson of the suspicion of being a paedophile whose face was falling off, after he died have been confirmed.
An outfit has penned an MMO game which will have a Real-World Economy Along With Opportunities to Learn About and Contribute to Charitable Causes based around the alleged “King of Pop”.
Planet Michael, which has the blessing of the Michael Jackson Estate, is a massively multiplayer online virtual world will will launch in late 2011 and the phrase “Wacko Jacko” will not be used anywhere.
According to the press release, Planet Michael will offer fans around the globe an innovative, first-of-its-kind “interactive gaming and social experience” that truly celebrates Michael Jackson’s extraordinary life as an artist and humanitarian.
As you expect it will use visuals drawn from Michael’s music, his life and the “global issues” that concerned him, such as where you can buy prescription drugs from a legitimate doctor.
The press release is written in the style of someone who has been totally disconnected from any Michael Jackson controversy, only listened to his records and had as much grip on reality as an Apple fanboy at a Steve Jobs press conference.
It enthuses that “entire continents will be created that will celebrate Michael’s unique genius in a way that underscores his place as the greatest artist of all time.”
Sheesh, stand aside Leonardo de Vinci, Michaelangelo, Vincent van Gough, even Elvis and John Lennon you have all been knocked aside by a bloke famous for singing while walking backwards and wearing one glove.
“Michael’s longtime fans will feel at home as they find themselves in places that seem familiar and yet unknown at the same time, and new generations will discover and experience Michael’s life in a way never before imagined,” the release goes on.
The problem with Michael Jackson’s life was that while it was tragic it left nothing to the imagination. Through the media we saw the monkey, the theme park, the abortive marriages, terrible plastic surgery and those god awful out-of- touch, unhelpful, sentimental videos dominated by children. .
As Alexi Sayle once pointed out the idea black and white people living together side by side in perfect racial harmony together on pianos was never going to happen. “Pianos just aren’t gonna solve nothing.”
Undeterred the release goes on: “Planet Michael is a massive social gaming experience that will allow everyone, from the hardcore fan to the novice, to connect and engage in collaborative in-game activities with people worldwide.”
It does not look like it will be realistic then. A Michael Jackson game that was real would involve using real world credits to have more plastic surgery, haemorrhage cash on theme park attractions, filling yourself with painkillers, paying lawyers to defend court cases and PR people to spin you away from those moments when you hang your baby over the railings of high buildings.
Realistically the only way you can win should be by having your character die.
Then you can sit rotting in a coffin for months while all those hypocritical media types who were baying for your blood a few months earlier start calling you the king of pop and the greatest artist that ever lived.
Planet Michael is a free-to-download world without monthly subscription fees, the real world in-game economy features gameplay monetisation that allows players to take on dozens of different occupations and in certain instances, contribute to a charitable cause at the same time, the press release tells us. It can be seen here
Attached is an incident we also doubt will appear in the game. But in our view was the last time anyone said anything fair and balanced about Michael Jackson.