Let Google and Facebook copulate and have intercourse

The level of noise that emanates from the Googleplex is astounding. Day after day there’s a barrage of information – or perhaps we should call it raw data – that leaves me reeling.

If it wasn’t for Apple, or Microsoft or Facebook or Intel, there’d be nothing else to write about.

I suspect that’s the way Google likes it. Let’s hope that News International doesn’t take over Facebook, like it did Myspace. Let’s hope that Microsoft doesn’t take over Apple. Let’s hope that IBM takes over Microsoft and Google because then we’d have the mother and father of antitrust cases on our hands.

What does Google have to say? It has plenty to say. It’s been caught out in recent weeks on two real SNAFUs – Buzz and Street View snaffling data.

It was all a big mistake, said Google. It doesn’t say that either the data is out of control, or Google is.

And so to Facebook. It’s been forced again to change its so-called “privacy rules”. Facebook is different from Google but they have one thing in common – promiscuity.

By promiscuity, we do not, of course mean to tie that word to promiscuous sexual behaviour – one of its meanings. We mean “an indiscriminate mixture”.

Google and Facebook mix everything up so much that it’s no surprise that people get in trouble. A naive person can quite easily get herself or himself into trouble by flirting with Facebook or with Google.

It’s so much harder to get in trouble with Microsoft, with Apple, or with IBM. All three of these now venerable companies are a little bit prudish, especially the Cupertino company.

Why, the very idea of copulation – and by this we don’t mean sexual coupling but the other meaning of the word – a binding together – would be anathema to all three of the companies.

They will have intercourse. By which we don’t mean sexual relations or coitus, but dealings or communication between individuals, groups, companies and countries.

So let’s hope IBM takes over the lot so we can have the mother and father of all antitrust actions in the otherwise rather boring – so far –  21st century.