Hey, have you heard of Justin Bieber? At first everyone hated him but since some guy posted one of his songs slowed down by 800 percent onto YouTube he’s this new cool thing that you don’t even have to be nine years old and/or stupid to enjoy. He’s a little pop princess, we mean prince who has won the hearts of prepubescent girls and paedophillic women alike, and if that’s not uniting the world through love we don’t want to hear it.
He’s also the undisputed King of Twitter, which is a magical place to go where you can tell everyone what you had for breakfast and share funny pictures of cats. He’s got a staggering 5,067,958 followers at time of publishing… and his own servers at Twitter’s data centre dedicated to maintaining his relentlessly awful microblogging, the posts as vacuous to read as they are legion.
Blogger Dustin Curtis has been chatting to a man who works at Twitter that says Bieber’s, er, content accounts for a staggering three percent of its entire infrastructure – he has his own rack of servers. He has his own rack of servers!
Mainly girls but some guys tweet him every day hoping for the state of nirvana you can only reach by being retweeted by the holy lopsided haired with posts like: “I just want to be myself, to pretend something I´m not….definitely not.. but ..U never notice me :(“. This message alone got retweeted by “100+ others”.
We’re not making this up, it’s not the 1st of April and though we like to self-indulgently dabble in satire from time to time, satire it ain’t. Bieber Fever is real and it’s not going away, not yet. This is perhaps one to be chucked back into the rumour mill. True or not, it’s a hateful reminder that Bieber exists and we’re here to help.