Internet attacked by bears

Techies in Idaho have been scratching their heads trying to work out why the state has the slowest networks in the Land of the Free.

Pando Network released the findings of a nationwide study on internet speeds. It found Idaho has the slowest networks, while Rhode Island, New Jersey and Massachusetts are at the top of the pack.

The New York Times took it upon itself to find out why Idaho’s internet was the slowest and came out with the surprising result that it was all due to bears.

Now many of you would probably think that slow internet times are probably due to the fact that only 1,567,582 live in Idaho and telephone companies can’t be bothered investing in cable. It is known as the Potato State because that is its major crop and several of its politicians have been root vegetables.

But according to the Times, another problem is that the internet depends on line-of-site towers to get over the more mountainous regions. This is where the bears come in.

Bears like the internet towers because they are ideal for scratching that part of their backs that they can’t normally itch.

Your average bear will rub against a tower and cause it to lose line of site connections. Barry Ramsay told the Times that when it happened work crews had to ride up in snowmobiles to discover the problem.

He pointed out that these are the kind of problems city folk probably don’t have in an urban area because there is a bear shortage.