Glorious Iranian spooks have cure for internet in a suitcase

Iranian intelligence, which has been a bit run down since the revolution, is attempting to curry favour with the Supreme Leader by claiming that it can defeat the evil satanic CIA backed internet.

Aware that the internet has been responsible for overthrowing autocratic regimes, thanks to keeping the public informed, the CIA has been working out how to set up suitcase sized mini-networks.

If it worked then it would be possible for Iranian people to find out what is really going on, rather than what they are told.

When the Iranians found out “what was going on” in the 1970s, they kicked the CIA-backed thug, the Shah of Iran, off his peacock throne. So the Supreme Leader is very worried that people might find out that there are other flavours of Islam out there which are not so oppressive.

Anyway, Heydar Moslehi, the head of the Iranian intelligence service, has reassured Iranian students that they have nothing to fear from this new technology.

Glorious Iranian researchers, which did such sterling work protecting the country from the Stuxnet worm, can stop this internet in a suitcase technology in its tracks, he said.

Moslehi said he had “anticipated it and have ways to deal with it”. Of course, Moslehi declined to provide further technical details, but you should have faith in the man who claimed that Iran would “not allow viruses to easily enter the country,” says Internet of Elsewhere.  Nor would any of the viruses bring the country’s nuclear industry to its knees.

Moslehi is super-confident at the moment. He had a spat with Ahmadinejad a few months back, but was reinstated at the request of the Supreme Leader. It is not often that Ahmadinejad is seen as a liberal wet, but fighting with Moslehi made him just that.

According to the writer Cyrus Farivar’s bog, other Iranian tech news are now reporting that there’s been a Facebook phishing scam targeting Iranians, by luring them through the US Green Card lottery and the promise of a two million dollar prize.

The fact it is the sort of scam that Moslehi appears to have failed to spot has made some Iranians suspicious. Some think that government agents are using it to find out which of its citizens really want to run off to join the Great Satan and keep tabs on them.

Iran’s best times were under the religiously tolerant Achaemenids and Parthians. Things went a bit downhill with the Sassanids, who tended to be a little too militant for Zoroastrians, and ended up exhausted by wars with the Byzantines before being conquered by the more enthusiastic Arabs.