Ballmer wants another crack at Big Media

The Dark Satanic Rumour Mill has manufactured another hell on earth yarn that the head of Microsoft wants to get back into the entertainment business.

Shy and retiring Steve “I want to move it, move it” Ballmer has been a little quiet on his show biz ambitions after the Zune failed to capture the world’s’ attention.

Now it seems he is back, tredding the boards in another show biz spectacular called Ventura.

We would have thought that copying Apple or Google would not have been that productive so we expect to Steve to do something a little more original. Perhaps a scene or two from Black Swan, or don a spandex costume and turn the Zune into an ice show. Well, it would make a change from putting products on ice.

Mary-Jo Foley has been doing some ruthless probing and thinks she has found the stage door to Ballmer’s dressing room. Apparently the sign on the door says “Ventura.”

Ventura appears to be the code name for a set of services being developed by Microsoft’s Entertainment and Devices (E&D) unit. These are all focused on music and video discovery and consumption.

Redmond has been advertising for people to work with Ventura. “The Ventura Media Services team is looking for a highly motivated Software Development Engineer to help drive some great new service innovation,” the advert said.

Apparently Ventura Media Services are an “agile team” working on the beginning of some “very large scale projects”. Judging by that, they are looking to be able to lift Ballmer over their heads while doing Swan Lake.

The advert goes on to say that the team can “incubate, innovate and iterate”. We thought that is what you do with hens, so there’s a chance Ventura could be a project to clone Steve so that the entire cast will be made up of dancing Ballmers.

“The team is a tight group of music and video lovers that create services and experiences revolving around musicvideo discovery and consumption. We are not afraid to try new things in the name of pushing the bleeding edge of technology.”  Even if it is an entire army of Steve Ballmers in tutus dancing to Swan Lake? Microsoft is getting evil again.

Here is an example of Steve’s trance phase. Some would argue that he has been in this for the last two years.