Angry mob demands benefits be stripped from rioters

An e-petition has been raised,  calling on the government to strip benefits from those convicted of taking part in the current wave of UK riots.

The rather draconian measures have been suggested as part of a new e-petition system whereby the public can put policy suggestions in front of parliament.

According to the site, a total of 100,000 signatures are needed, after which the subject may be spoken about in a Commons debate.  And the current total stands at 75,263.

The Department for Work and Pensions is on the receiving end of the following demands, which also ask to disregard any riot victims from contributing to the aftermath clean up:

“Any persons convicted of criminal acts during the current London riots should have all financial benefits removed,” the mob bellowed via the e-petition.

“No tax payer should have to contribute to those who have destroyed property, stolen from their community and shown a disregard for the country that provides for them.”

We reckon some MPs with a penchant for human rights might have something to say about that of course.

But with London now under mob control perhaps even such heavy handed and archaic punishments do not go far enough.  As the country regresses back to the feudal system, complete with a serf uprising, some vigilante justice may need to be meted out to sort the country out.

Why not bring back the gallows that were once situated at tourist hotspot Marble Arch?  Or erect some stocks in the middle of Tottenham and unleash a volley of rotten fruit at perpetrators?

TechEye spoke to one pitchfork-wielding yokel about why he signed the petition:

 “I signed the petition because quite simply, the people who have taken part in the looting and destruction of their own communities need to be taught a bloody lesson,” he told us.

“They assume they are owed a living from the government.”

Of course since the inception of the e-petition many have used the service to lobby the government for such forward thinking initiatives as bringing back the death penalty. So it is perhaps unlikely that this will be taken wholly serious by politicians.

But if you would like to some vigilante justice then please step this way and cast your vote.