Amazon report: toilet seats bogged down in China crisis

A somewhat interesting report has popped up for sale on Amazon if you have the cash to spend on it. For the princely sum of $495 you can buy a fascinating PDF report that threatens to lift the lid on the outlook of wooden toilet seats in China.

Now you may mock, and indeed we are, but apparently wooden bog seats have been big business in China since the invention of paper.

However, the report, with the catchy title “The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China” hints that business is about to go down the pan as the Chinese move to cheaper plastic models.

The report’s author – which is listed as Icon Group International – seems to be very interested in estimating the latent demand for wooden toilet seats across the regions and cites of Greater China.

The author is particularly interested in “exogenous shocks” which change demand for the product in question. Or dodgy soy sauce creating a run in demand.

He talks a lot about demand or restraint, and the fact that in a long run, households with no income eventually have no consumption of bog seats. We never realised that eating toilet seats was an option in china. We would have thought you would have be jolly poor to want to eat a wooden toilet seat, even if you have have a decent sauce.

“I allow different propensities to consume, including being on consumption functions with differing slopes, which can account for differences in industrial organization, and end-user preferences,” the report said. So there you have it. You have to eat a wooden toilet seat on a slope.

Needless to say the reviews for the report are rather good.

“This is so weird. My husband and I were just discussing the 2009-2014 outlook for wood toilet seats in greater China the other day. Now today, here I am surfing Amazon and wouldn’t you know it? The 2009-2014 outlook for wood toilet seats in greater China. I am so happy the price seems reasonable. I’m thinking Amazing Anniversary Present!” wrote one.

Another described it as hypnotic as the I Ching.

“Yhe methodology is absolutely stunning. This could revolutionize the academics associated with defacation facilities throughout the entire world. A mind-blowing read; I only wish the researcher had thought to include more long-term concerns in his studies,” another reviewer wrote.