Ye Revelation of the Euro


1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and 27 horns, and upon his horns 27 crowns. And he did create a beast which was named Euro. 2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion and the arse of a badger: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority. 3 And all worshipped the beast and gave power unto the dragon all except for the British for they liketh the Beast not. 4 “Hath we not the pound, we needeth not these jolly foreign coins, liketh what we have to get when we are on holiday, to mess with us.” 5 But it came to pass that the Greeks, the Romans and the Spanish tribes did fall into debt and borrowed much Euro from the Britons and the Teutons. Lo, mighty was the interest they paid and soon their economies collapsed. 6. And the British King Cameroon was perplexed for he had loaned all his British pounds and converted them to Euro so King Berlusconi of the Romans could have parties with Whores of Babylon, yea even unto Bunga Bunga. 7. And lo there was fears that there would be Eurogeddon as the beast started to die. It was no use asking the Americans because they had been bought by the Chinese and were in debt too. 8. And the vertically challenged King of the Gauls, who hath a nice wife, who once shaggeth Mick Jagger, did form an alliance with the small Teutonic Queen Merkel to sort out the finances of Europe. And lo was given unto governments to make war with the saints, and the Trade Unions of the Greek and Romans to overcome them. 9 If any man have an ear, let him hear. 10 But in the world of technology there were mighty fears. In the Far East there was a mighty Earthquake and in the not quite so far East there were mighty floods. 11 And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a analyst. 12 And he did spake and say demand and supply is accursed and the chains of supply shall be shattered. 13 And lo the beast did break the chains of supply unto europe and there were none that could maketh the computers cheap. 14 And the punters did rise up and say that they would not buyeth the computers at those prices, for was it not better to use a slide rule than spend 2,000 shekels for a hard-drive? 15 But the OEMs did cry “are our margins not thinner than a Parisian model? Hath we not got children and shareholders to feed?” 16 But the Beast of IT was satisfied. For had it not made piles of dosh before the Euro crisis? Had it not got chains of supply leading unto parts where others could not reach? 16 It was the beast which had been wounded in the battle with the Messiah Steve Jobs and he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: 17 and that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Wintel.