Ye Booke of Ei-Be-Em

 

In the beginning, computers were Leviathan and moved not about the earth. And the biggest of all the computer makers were the tribe of Giants called Ei-Be-Em. With their suits of grey, these Giants strode forth throughout the land and they covered themselves with Woad, even unto their nether regions, which earned them the nick-name Big Blue. But the world feared their power and it was said that they did stamp on little people who did try to make big computers. And the Forces of Law and Order did claim that Ei-Be-Em rapeth the Sherman Act by monopolising the computer market, yea even unto Section Two. For a score of years, the war between Law and Big Blue was fought and much blood was spillithed and the Justice Department walked from the field stating “this Big Blue is not really worth it.” Time passed and then three nations who madeth Big Computers did decide to complain about the Giants again. Nations of Tee Three, Neon, Turbo- Hur kules madeth the wares that were soft and did convince non-Leviathan computers that they were sent forth by the Blue Giants themselves. Neon rallied forth in 2009, claiming Ei-Be-Em had interfered with its efforts to licence its zPrime emulation software. Neon did go forth even unto the forces of Law in Europe. Tee-Three joined an antitrust lawsuit but it was cast down by the Blue Giants. Now Ei-Be-Em has seen its enemies routed before its mighty blue briefs, and there is not a maker of Leviathan computers that can standeth against them. But the forces of Law in Europe did move against the Giants. For the Giants moved in their land also and the rules were not so accommodating to those taller than Nicolas Sarkozy. Even though the three Kings of the Clones have been routed, in the Clone Wars, shall we not continue our investigation into the Blue Giants? And the commissions said “Amen”. And the shareholders in Ei-Be-Em did selleth their shares and did look unto the Americas to save them. But the Dee-Oh-Jay said unto the world that if the Europe could investigate the Blue Giants then so could America, even unto God Dammit!. And so IBM prepared its mighty army of Lobbiests to attempt to convince the Dee-Oh-Jay that it was not worth another 13 years in the court room to be routed yet again. But the rest of the world did wonder. What were these Leviathans of which Ei-Be-Em did speak. For are not our computers smaller than a breadbox, and certainly not larger than a house these days?

Ye Booke Of IBM