Winsome Carly Fiorina wins in California

The woman who compared herself to Heloise will pit herself against Senator Barbara Boxer this year in her race to become president of the United States, if not Hewlett Packard.

Carly “Winsome” Fiorina (22) beat a republican man called Tom Campbell and will hope to rob democrat Barbara Boxer of her senate seat when voters flock to the polls later this year.

And “Marvellous” Meg Whitman, who used to run auction company Ebay, will stand for governor and hopes to become the governor of California when that position is vacated. Schwarzenegger can’t stand for another term.

All we need now is for Paul Otellini to get interested in politics in the run up to his retirement from Intel, and Mike Capellas to renounce his American citizenship and stand for the Scottish parliament and our lives will be virtually complete.