The Holy Book of Nintendo and the Bees

The Book of Donkey Kong And it came to pass that the King of Nin-Ten-Do did hold a mighty banquet in the Lands under the waves called Amsterdam. 2. And he did invite all the Press barons to sup with him for he had a new device for which he wanted lots of attention. Messengers went throughout the known world looking for Press Barons to attend. 3. Finally one arrived to Ox Ford where in King Mageek did hold the court of the Tech-Eye, even unto the Rat and Handgun lounge bar. 4. And Lo Mageek did chuckle that this was an invite he would like to attend for there was much potential for mirth. After all hand not Nin-Ten-Do make the mighty mistake of naming his last gadget the Wii? And it was thus spoken that the Wii did taketh the piss. 5. And so he did send forth a missive declaring that he would send a representative from his Kingdom, who would sup with the King of Nin-Ten-Do, and eateth on the small cheese crackers and the Mysterious rolled up meat. And then he would write an article about the new device. 6. “”For as much as the 3DS is not as funny a name as the Wii, I am sure that there will be something to made much mirth of,” he did spake. 7. But the King of Nin-Ten-Do was wroth for he had readeth the Tech-Eye and likelth it not. Had it not taken the piss out of the Wii? Had it not said that 3D made children blind? Had not said that it was responsible for video game addiction? And so the list was endless. 8. But the King of Nin-Ten-Do was perplexed, for he wanted not to pick a fight with King Mageek who was a Scotish person with a head like a cedar of Lebanon. 9. For it was spoken even unto the halls of Redmond that it was not a good idea to approach a Mageek when he had a few. 10. Unfortunately it was also spoken, that it was difficult to find Mageek when he had NOT had a few. 11. So the King of Nin-Ten-Do did write unto Mageek and told him that he was unable to invite him to the banquet because he was not on the list called “A”. 12. However in honour of his great achievements, including “Wikepedia’s most banned” and the 38th most influential person in British IT, just below the inventor of a new vacuum cleaner, King of Nin-Ten-Do did declare that Mageek was a Knight of the Bee List. 13. He made it a law, even to the Greeks and the Persians, that if so ever a member of the A list should be smote down and unable to attend the banquet, then a Knight of the Bee shall be called forth to attend. 14. For it is a great honour to be named a Knight of the Bee in the Land of Nin-ten-do. For it was the name of the Great Spelling Bee product which made the Land a Killing. 15. And with that the King of Nin-Ten-Do did give Mageek the formal farewell researched unto the Knights of the Bee. 16. “Bee Gone and if you are seen Bee Fore I call thee, I shall calleth the cops.”