The Booke of So-Ne and DRM



1. And lo the Children of So-Ne did say unto themselves, we have no God that answers our prayers, so we shall make unto ourselves a graven idol and it shall protect us from all evil. 2. And they melted down all the the Gold they had and fashioned it into a graven idol which they called Dee-Ah-Em. And they did sacrifice their RAM unto to Dee-Ah-Em. When their new god did demand that they live their life at the pace of a snail, they did rejoice, and when people spake against Dee-Ah-Em they did go unto legal war to defend it. 3. And the people did say: “Are we not the most protected people in the world? For there are none that may trespass in our lands and those who try to attack Dee-Ah-Em are sued, yea even unto the back teeth. 4. And So-Ne did say unto itself. Let us build a might network which will stretch up unto the the heavens. There we will meet Dee-Ah-Em and it will become one with us. 5. And they did build a mighty network and more than 700 million souls did sign up to it. For they wished to see Dee-Ah-Em and experience its protective wings. 6. But lo. The Kings of Edom did hear about So-Ne’s mighty network and did think that the 700 million souls must have many cards of credit which they were doing nothing with. 7. And they secretively entered So-Ne’s network and made a huge hole in the side of the wall and stole forth with the cards of credit and the personal details of the 700 million. 8. And yet, the God Dee-Ah-Em did nothing to stop them. Yea, he droppeth them right in it. 9. When the priests of Dee-Ah-Em heard of the cards of credit being stolen they went unto the temple of Dee-Ah-Em and asked him for help. 10. “Have we not sacrificed our RAM, and other hardware unto thee? Have we not built a mighty Network to meet thee? Have we not been true and faithful servants of Dee-Ah-Em? Why hast thou forsaken us in our hour of need? 11. And Dee-Ah-Em said naught unto them, and the priests of Sony said: “this must be a blessing. Dee-Ah-Em wishes us to take a vow of silence and spake nothing of this matter and he will sort it for us.” 12. And the Priests of So-Ne did take a vow of silence and the 700 million souls on the mighty network knew nothing of the invasion of the Kings of Edom, nor that their cards of credit had been taken. 13. And the Kings of Edom did look behind them and wonder why the armies of So-Ne had not pursued them into the wilderness. And they did shrug and proceed to us the cards of credit to buy sheep, goats, expensive chariots, and the odd house with pools unto which to swim. 14. And they did say unto themselves: “Praise be unto the Children of So-Ne for they have given us much wealth.” 15. But low the hole in the wall that they had left behind did cause the network to crash unto a pile of rubble. 16. And the 700 million souls did ask the priest of Dee-Ah-Em why the network had crashed. And the priests spake nothing, for they had taken a vow of silence. 17. And then the 700 million souls did become wrath and did protest, yea even unto the mainstream press. For they had put their trust in Dee-Ah-Em and it had been about as useful as a teapot made of chocolate. 18. And they looked unto their cards of credit and did discover that the Kings of Edom had bought many things, yea without authorisation and they did tear their cloths with despair. 19. And the priests of Dee-Ah-Em did shug and finally realised that the game was up. And they did suggest that the people of So-Ne should find another God for this one seemed rather busy all of a sudden.