The Angel looks upon 2011, and lo it was all over


And the LORD was in his heaven and called forth the Angel of the Year before him and spake and said, “It hath been bought to my attention that thou hath been a bit crap.” And the Angel did tremble and shake for the LORD was known for being a bit tetchy at times and it was written that he that pisseth off the LORD could end up on the wrong side of a Lightning bolt. “Lord, Lord, Lord,” he cried, “Fault not the Angel of the Year, for is not written that worker who hath the tools of a poor man shall maketh a god-awful job, and be stuck with wonky MFI shelves?” And the Lord did think about this and did say unto him “and thou art saying that 2011 was like unto a set of wonky MFI shelves. Did not the year begin with promise?” And the Angel of the Year said “Indeed for the people came unto CES and did spy the tablet’s of promise and King Ballmer said that Windows would become One with ARM and it should know the power of Windows 8.” And yet the people were fooled by the Power of Jobs who did spake unto them pretty lies about his trinkets and people bought not the tablets of Promise but instead the marketing of Jobs. “I knowth this,” said the LORD, “I got around to striking him down this year and the sod keeps coming around telling me how to runneth things. But was not this the year of Android?” “T’was the year of Android, and more than half of the world’s smart phones were made with the products blessed by Google. But the Lords of Microsoft and Apple did see the success of Android and did desire it. So they unleashed the Patent Troll from his den of iniquity and he terrorised the land with bogus court cases. Not since the days of Rambus hath such a patent troll be seen. But it was also the year that the tide terned against the maker of Rubber Boots, Nokia and the two head headed monster which was RIM. Nokia did bring forth Elop who did begat a deal with Ballmer to hand over his Kingdom to the Vole, and RIM was broken on the wheel of Tablets. Yea verily RIM’s network proved as reliable as Sony’s and the company entered the Darkness and found no Light within. And from the depths of hell cameth a plague of Script Kiddies named unto themselves and LulzSec and Anonymous. Yeah there was not a server that they could not bring down and the Americas were fearful, for Americans fear everything. Yea there were discourses on Fox news which callethed the Script Kiddies terrorists and did calleth them the be crucified. And yea Flash did depart the plans of Adobe as the world did settle on HTML 5 and there was much mirth in the Apple camp, for they likethed Flash not. This was the year that everyone worried about privacy, other than the Americans who demanded that all their citizens hand over their legal rights unto the movie studios so that they could all be hung for being pirates. And I saw a mighty Google plus emerge from the sea and sink before anyone noticed. “But,” sayeth the LORD, “Was it not the year of doom? Are the finance markets in deep trouble and shall not the technology industry fall even further next year?” “Well,” said the Angel of the Year. “Next year is someone else’s job, I am going to have a nice rest.”