Steve Jobs wins Grammy

In one of the daftest awards since MTV gave best picture to Twilight, the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences will give a posthumous Grammy to Steve Jobs.

Jobs, who only ever sung in the shower, will join the likes of Ray Charles, John Denver, and Elvis Presley who also received a Grammy after they snuffed it, or in the case of Elvis faked his death.

While it is generally a good thing to be a dead rockstar, being a dead CEO of a tech company is less likely to bring you the Christmas number one. It seems that the luvvies at the NARAS had to bend over backwards to think of a reason why they should be remembering Jobs at all.

Fortunately he is not getting an award for his singing. That would mean we would be forced to watch a long mawkish soft focused video of Jobs duetting with the soap and singing a cover of Robbie William’s Angel into a luffa.

This 2012 Special Merit Award will be presented posthumously at a swanky invitation-only ceremony to be held on 11 February, 2012. Needless to say the New York Times will get an invite and we wouldn’t on the basis that we would spoil the event by shouting.

There will be a formal acknowledgment made during the 54th annual Grammy Awards, for those luvvies who feel they need to give Jobs a standing ovulation in public. Sit down Fry, you know who we are talking about.

According to a statement from the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences, Jobs is being honoured for his “long-standing career of innovation”, helping to “create products and technology to transform the way we consume music, TV, movies, and books.”

It seems the reality distortion field has enclosed Hollywood. Jobs did not change the way we look at TV or books. You still need to look at books with your eyes.  You could argue a case for his Pixar operation, which had an impact on animation, and by insisting on flat deals on music he artificially boosted the cost of many back catalogues of performing artists.

Besides his role in the creation of the iPod, Steve Jobs was instrumental in convincing the major record companies to sell their music on the iTunes Store, which has sold more than 16 billion songs since its beginning on April 28, 2003, NARAS enthused.

Jobs, who did something for the cash, made huge profits and got a Grammy by dying . Buddy Holly, who did a lot more for rock music, never got one. Neither did the Doors, Queen, Grateful Dead, Led Zeppelin, Diana Ross, Bob Marley, or the Who. So it seems if you are a good salesman you will get one, while if you do something meaningful you really are screwed. A bit like life really.

We wonder if the post-mortem fascination with Jobs would result in him being made a saint. His Holiness is an Apple fanboy and will be reading Mass from his iPad this Chrimbo, so we will see if Jobs gets a mention in the Top of the Popes.

Next Jobs is up for a Best Actor Oscar for his sincere performance at the iPad press launch. Apparently, there was not a dry seat in the house, as Jobs spoke his cool, wow lines – so he will obviously knock Leonardo diCaprio out of the running for Best Actor. It is amazing what you can do when you’re dead.