Nintendo has a problem with its water works

For years we have been taking the Nintendo out of the Wii. It seems that the outfit’s marketing people wanted to make the product number one but failed to look into the Western meanings of the word.

Now it has announced plans to put a new Wii on the street, which we would have thought would sit well next to the dog mess and the broken syringes. It will be out in two shakes, at least some time in 2012.

We were relieved to discover that the name “Wii” will be flushed into the pan of history. It seems that the marketing people have heard our advice and decided not to go in the same place twice.

Word on the street is that the next Wii is being code-named Project Cafe so everything seems safely out of the lav and having a nice coffee, perhaps with a few biscotti.

But it turns out that we relaxed too soon and underestimated Nintendo’s obsession with urology.

Slashgear  has had a few words with its deepthroats inside Nintendo and the outfit appears to be continuing the theme. The plan is to call the toy the Nintendo Stream. Thus the marketing people have decided that instead of the Wii we will have a Wii description.

Our suggestion to Nintendo is that it should stop choosing names for products after weak bladdered executives have been sitting in a room for a hour or more after downing a couple of buckets of green tea.

Next they will be trying to associate their new product with their old console, which after all is flushed with success. Then the beast will be called the Wii Stream.

The logic is that it will sound like a babbling brook in Scotland, and not at all like the Yellow River in China. It also sounds like the thing we used to race boats down in the Paekakariki School boy’s loos.

It really is time that Nintendo told its marketeers to bog off and give them a golden handshake, or a golden something at least.