Jobs slags off Adobe and Google

Religious iCon, Apple’s Steve Jobs, issued a foul mouthed tirade at rivals Google and Adobe for not obeying his will.

In a gathering of employees, Jobs hit out at Google for daring to enter the phone business without his permission.

He said that Apple did not enter the search business but Google dared to enter the phone business. We guess he thinks he makes every mobile phone in the world now.

Jobs claimed Google wanted to kill the iPhone which is Apple’s contribution to the spiritual destiny of humanity. He said that he would stop them.

“Don’t be evil is a load of crap,” he said as his legions of black shirts cheered.

Adobe, Jobs said, was lazy. He said it had all this potential to do interesting things but it just refused to do it.

By interesting, he means that it does not do what Jobs tells them and does not follow the approach that Apple is taking.  However Jobs said that Apple did not support Flash because it is too buggy.

He blamed Flash for most of the crashes you experience on a Mac, although we are not sure how Flash could cause the chip problems that were experienced on the iMacs, or the cracked screens, or those funky graphics bugs.

Apple users did not need Flash, he said because the whole world is moving to HTML5 and if they are not, they will because Steve tells them.

Officially no-one was able to comment to the press from the meeting or they would risk a visit from Jobs’ Mob’s NDA enforcement Gestapo. But his story was leaked here