In the beginning, Steve Jobs created the tablet and lo the Tame Apple press made sure that it was good.
And Jobs did set the size of the tablet at 9.5 inches and did set these magical dimensions in tablets of stone.
“The number of perfection for the size of my tablets shall be 9.5 inches, for anything greater would be too much and anything lesser shall be too much,” he told his followers.
Jobs spake and said that 7-inch tablets should come with sandpaper, so users could file their fingers down to a quarter of their size.
“There are clear limits of how close you can physically place elements on a touch screen before users cannot reliably tap, flick, or pinch them,” he sayeth.
“Smaller than 9.5 inches be right out, for he who maketh the tablet of less than 9.5 inches shall find their shiny toy cursed for ever more.”
And the followers of Steve, who still mourned his passing, were unable to create a tablet to compete, for it was against the word of Jobs.
And then one day it did occur to the followers of Apple that the tablet had been created by the God of Spin, and therefore its life did depend on God of Spin.
“Are we not children of the lie? So let us make up another whopper so that we may profit from these smaller tablets.”
And so it came to pass that an email between Vice President Eddy Cue and the chief operating officer Tim Cook in January 2011 to build a 7-inch tablet was mysteriously “found” in a court case against Samsung.
The email, which was addressed also to software chief Scott Forstall and marketing head Phil Schiller, had Cue saying there was a market for a 7-inch tablet and that “we should do one”.
And Cue did say that he remembered shewing the idea unto Steve Jobs, and he seemed very receptive.
And his words, claimed that Jobs had given his blessing to a 7-inch tablet and the Gospel of Jobs had to be rewritten. And thus was a new Gospel written and yea it was called the “Book of Nods” for in it was contained all the things that the Apostles of Jobs wanted to do, but Jobs had forbidden. And it was called the book of Nods because it claimed that all these forbidden things were secretly blessed by Jobs.