Apple files patent for bullet-proof devices

Apple likes to “think different”, so much so that it has filed a new patent that could see its future devices made bullet-proof.

The patent, discovered by Patently Apple, relates to the creation of an improved composite laminate, suggesting that Apple is attempting to make the casing on its devices that little bit tougher. Apparently the technology could even be used to make a device bullet-proof, which raises a number of interesting possibilities for the iThingamajigs of the future.

TechEye mystics crowded around one of our numerous crystal balls to see what kind of future this might lead to. In one case we saw a man escape a neart-death experience, crying: “My iPhone saved my life… literally!” In another we saw the UK police force attempting to save money by selotaping iPads across their chest instead of wearing Kevlar.

There is also a growing trend of people buying Apple products just to destroy them, so much so that it’s almost its own expensive sport. Countless Youtube videos have appeared of people smashing their iPhones and iPads to bits, revealing one of the many “innovative” ways you can use an Apple product. Even Jonathan Ross tried to destroy an iPad on television by throwing it in a frying pan.

Clearly then Apple is trying to put an end to this sport, because it is not a propreitary sport sanctioned by St. Eve of Jobs, by making its devices indestructible. However, TechEye is aware of a hidden universal truth: if you say it cannot be broken someone will find a way to break it. 

While the sport may be limited to gun-toting regions like America, we expect that the bullet-proof iThingies of the future may have quite a few holes in them. That is in addition to the ones Apple causes, of course.