Now when ARM was born in England in the days of Ballmer the king, behold, there came wise men from many suppliers to Redmond,
2Saying, Where is the creator of chips that is born to be King of the mobiles? for we have seen its star in the east, yea even unto China and are come to worship him.
3When Ballmer the king had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Redmond with him.
4And when he had gathered all the analyists, or Fortune Tellers, he did threaten them with a chair saying how shall this ARM chip take control of mobile? Is not Mobile ruled by En-Tel our allies?
5And they said unto him, In Blighty shall this King of the Mobile chips be born. For thus it is written by the prophet,
6And thou Blighty, art not the least among the princes of world: for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule mobile chips.
7Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, enquired of them diligently what time the star appeared.
8And he sent them to Blighty, and said, Go and search diligently for this new chipmaker; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and sign a deal with him also.
9When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw it was in the East and was over Cambridge, went before them, till it came and stood over where Warren East was.
10When they saw the star in the East, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.
11And when they were come into the house, they saw East and they did present their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, supplier contracts and shares.
12And being warned of GOD in a dream that they should not return to Ballmer, they departed into their own country another way.
13And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeareth to Warren East in a dream, saying, Arise, and take thy chip designs and bugger off for a bit for Ballmer and En-Tel fear thine Mobile Chip designs and will seek to destroy thee
14When he arose, he took the designs by night, and hid
15And was there until the Ballmer and En-Tel had lost the Mobile Chip market completely. Thus was it spoken of East by the prophet, saying, Out of Cambridge have I called my son.
16Then Baller, when he saw that he was mocked of the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth, and flung chairs around Redmond even unto the coasts. Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying,
18In Redmond was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Ballmer weeping for his Mobile operating system and would not be comforted, because they are not.
19And thus it came to pass that a the King did emerge from Cambridge and many vendors signed up for his chips.
20 And still King Ballmer did nothing even as the vendors took away the power of his Ally En-Tel.
21. Then lo, Ballmer did repent of his actions. For he looked unto the world of Mobile and realised there was Windows not.
22. He called his advisors and asked unto them what could be done about this King of the Mobiles.
23. Then he said unto them “if we cannot beat them, buy them, or bury them, we must join them. Let us create software for these Arm chips.”
24. And his advisers said unto him: “Lord it will take many years to get our software running on Arm chips and by the time we do, you will be dead many years.”
25. And Ballmer said: “Bugger, have I not cocked up again?”
26. And the people said “Amen.”