Apple's Jobs dumps Nvidia's Jen-Hsun for Intel's Otellini

Jen-Hsun Huang sniffed tearfully into his immaculately tailored handkerchief.

“I can’t believe that you would leave me for him!” He pointed at the framed picture of Paul Otellini which had suddenly appeared on Steve Jobs’ desk.

Steve did not blink. He smiled smugly and looked at Huang with eyes of pure hatred.

“It is not me,” he said. “It is entirely you. In any relationship it is perfectly normal to have one arrogant bastard who thinks that he is God and that the world revolves around him, but in our relationship there is just one too many.”

Tears rolled down Huang’s face, his heart felt as if it would burst with grief. “But after all we have been through. Where ever there has been Steve there has always been a little piece of me with you.”

“Yes,” agreed Steve, his cold eyes focused in the middle ground. “When ever something goes wrong, it is usually something to do with you.”

Liar!” cried Huang. “You say that about all the people you don’t like any more, you always claim it is about breaking your toys. You broke the iPhone 4 all by yourself. But isn’t it time that someone grew up and stopped playing with toys?”

Steve remained motionless, but Huang could see the bulbous vein pulsating in his skull.

“And anyway what has Otellini got that I haven’t?”

Steve grinned arrogantly. “Sandy Bridge. What have you got that can match that on the lower end? No one wants your discrete GPU’s any more. What Paul has got is twice as fast as anything you can give me and it is no where near as thick.”

Huang’s jaw dropped. “Size and speed never bothered you before. You always said it was about quality and performance.”

“I lied to spare your feelings,” Steve kept his slow, even voice in hope that Huang would calm down. “Anyway Paul has shown me Sandy Bridge, it’s no slacker.”

Huang felt faint. “So that is it? One new product and you toss me aside like I was a cheap whore?” Huang could not believe that he was swearing now.

“Once we had something good, pure and meaningful. What happened to that Steve?”

“I dunno, I let you do the welding on it I guess,” Steve smiled at his own joke and pressed the canned standing ovation button that he had installed on his desk for such moments.

“So what will happen now?” Huang sighed.

Sandy Bridge will go into the cheap books at first. After that who knows? Besides, if Paul has his way you will never be able to make useful chipsets for MacBook Pros,”

Steve rattled off his plans as if he was talking to a four year old, or a US technology hack.

“But you will still need me… on the high end?” Huang asked hopefully. “I will take what I can I will even allow you to use my GPU discretely.”

Steve paused.

“I will call you,” he said [thats enough Mills and Boon. ed]