AMD contemplates selling itself off

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn which claims that AMD is thinking of selling itself off to the highest bidder.

According to Reuters, AMD has hired JPMorgan Chase to explore options, which could include a sale.

Apparently the news agency found three people inside AMD to stand up the story.

It says that the outright sale of the company is not a priority, it might just flog some of its patents.

Officially AMD said that its board and management believe that the strategy the company is currently pursuing to drive long-term growth by “leveraging AMD’s highly-differentiated technology assets” is the right approach to “enhance shareholder value”. We shoved this statement through our universal translator and was told that AMD is thinking of selling the family silver but had not decided if it was going to get rid of the keys to the CEO’s drinks cabinet, which is always the last asset to be transferred in any sale.

AMD added that it was “not actively” pursuing a sale of the company or significant assets at this time. Passively pursuing a sale means that you stick out a decent rumour that you are interested in selling something and hope that someone with a cheque book knocks on your door.

Meanwhile AMD is laying off engineers and some analysts are concerned it may not find new markets for its chips in time to reverse a declining cash reserve.

Its shares have fallen more than 60 percent this year, giving it a market value of about $1.4 billion. It owes about $2 billion.

Reuters report quoted an unnamed analyst as saying that AMD could be bought by a technology company that might want to emulate Apple’s tight control of software and components, a strategy credited in part for the success of the iPad and iPhone.

Microsoft, Google, Samsung, Intel and even Facebook have been suggested by Wall Street analysts as potential suitors that could benefit from some of AMD’s chip business. Jerry Sanders III is not dead, otherwise he would be turning in his grove, sorry grave.