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Apple bloke sells his own afflatus

The bloke responsible for deciding which App gets into Apple’s walled garden of delights at iTunes has been found peddling his own art and urination simulator software.

Like Saudi Arabia, Apple censors the apps in its store. It is particularly anal about porn which it feels brings down its Disney image. It has also banned satire because everyone knows Jobs and fanboys have zero sense of humour.

Apple employees are forbidden from selling their own apps on the app store.

However, it turns out that Phillip Shoemaker, the director of Apple’s app store, did not get that memo. He flogs his own iPhone apps under the company name Gray Noodle, including Animal Farts and the urination simulator iWiz.

Developers have attacked Apple’s ambiguous, arbitrary app approval process in the past so were fuming to Wired that Shoemaker hand been able set rules for them and another for himself.

An Apple spokeswoman insisted that that Shoemaker’s apps were written, submitted and approved before he joined Apple, although the iWiz does appear to be later.

Having a proper story erupt during silly season has lead to a feeding frenzy among the IT press over the pond.

Valleywag found that Shoemaker was following at least 16 porn stars and escorts on Twitter. This could, however, have been because his account was set up to automatically follow people who follow him.

Since Valleyway revealed this “news” Shoemaker has since deleted his Twitter account, and updated his LinkedIn profile to remove references to Gray Noodle.

We can’t see why he is so embarrassed about his work. The iWiz app, according to the Gray Noodle website, lets users “make a non-stop urination sound” and you can also “set the fart threshold”.

“How much gas do you want to pass? How many toots do you want during this urination cycle?,” the site tells us. The Animal Farts app, on the other hand, “plays various bodily fluid noises from various animals”. It is possible to hear a Panda having a Nintendo and a Rhino having a dump. Such depth and quality is about the normal standard for Jobs Mob however it does make supremo Steve Jobs look even more like a dickhead with double standards..

Jobs once attacked the Google Android app marketplace and said his glorious approval process offered “freedom from porn”. Obviously water sports don’t count when you are making cash on the back of it.