Ye Booke of Se-Ee-Es

 

And it came to pass that every year the people in the Land of Technology would gather in the town of Sodem in Los Vegas for the Se-Ee-Es show. Yea, great was the rubbing of shoulders, lapdancing and gambling as the people gathered to hear the word of the leaders. And King Ballmer did go forth from Redmond, yea even unto Se-Ee-Es and did prepare to speak the word of the LORD unto the IT industry. And the industry did gather to hear his words, wearing their special ear protection. For was it not written that King Ballmer should bringeth forth many products in this year? Hath he bought the King of Nokia in contractual chains onto the stage with him? And King Ballmer did twist and shout. Yea verily he shook it up baby, and did many things upon the stage and yet his words contained substance not. And the people wondered why they took time out from their dancers of laps and rollers of dice to listen unto him if he was going to spake such rubbish. And then Intel did pray unto their dark Gods and did pray that they would maketh a splash at Se-Ee-Es with their Ultrabooks of Delight. And the dark Gods did hear their prayer and soon the streets of Se-Ee-Es were awash with Ultrabooks from many lands, great was the supply of Ultrabooks thereof. And Intel did spake unto the throngs and sayeth, look unto our Ultrabooks of Delight, are they not as we told thee? Are they even more popular than the Tablets of Jobs, for they have a keyboard? And the people did see the Ultrabooks of Intel and did mutter that while they were very nice, they were not going to buy anything until Europe sorted out its economy. But still the dark Gods of Intel did bringeth more Ultrabooks unto Se-Ee-Es and did cause it to rain Ultrabooks for forty days and forty nights. And the flood of Ultrabooks was forty days upon the earth; and the supply increased, and bared up Intel until its bottom line was lifted up above the earth. And the Ultrabooks prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and Intel went upon the face of the waters. But while the Ultrabooks were made, no one was buying them and their inventory prevailed exceedingly upon the Earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered. Fifteen cubits, the Ultrabook inventory prevailed and the mountains were covered. And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man: all in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died. And the Ultrabooks prevailed upon the earth a hundred and fifty days, and then someone came up with a new novelty.