Warner Bros recruits student spies

Everyone knows students are a useless waste of space. Everyone, that is, except Warner Bros Entertainment, which believes the greasy gits could prove incredibly useful if seduced by a lucrative 12 month internship and cajoled into turning on their peers [peer2peers] as piracy spies.

The UK branch of the huge media corporation recently started a recruitment drive for a position as a tech savvy intern, a reformed file sharer willing to become turncoat and rat out fellow downloaders.

The student Warner Bros is seeking must apparently be “IT literate” and be well versed in the dark arts of “peer protocols, IRC, FTP, web forums and newsgroups. 

“Programming experience with Java or JSP and PHP, Perl or Python would be a bonus,” says the job description. 

The anti piracy intern would set up shop [ship?] at Warner Bros offices in London where s/he would be asked to set up various accounts at BitTorrent sites, whilst helping to develop link-scanning bots and trap file sharers by posing as buyers for illegal content. 

If an intern should chance upon an illegal tidbit from either Warner Bros or NBC Universal, s/he would also be required to send a heavy handed takedown request to both the site and its users. As well as gather as much information on the identities of the file sharers and site hosts as possible. 

For this, the intern will receive the princely sum of £17,500, which should barely cover living expenses in London, leaving not too much left over for the legal purchase of music and films online. 

Still, if you or any other lazy student with a degree in a computing related discipline you know is interested, feel free to check out the application. But don’t do the typical student procrastination routine, because last applications are due in by March 31.